Monday, June 30, 2008
i have never been deeply interested in singapore politics because my mediocre language and intellectual abilities make formulating sound arguments against certain policies difficult, but with inflation rates at 26-year high (and even higher ERP rates, petrol charges for cab etc.), a string of screw ups by MHA and to top it off, MM's fiery rhetoric against voting for the opposition, I think it's about time I start doing some work and start understanding what it really means to be living here in s'pore.
Staying home for the next week after wisdom tooth surgery will provide good time to read up on these issues. the net is well fed with articles or arguments written by educated and articulate countrymen in and out of singapore, those still within the country apparently biting the bullet to stay, and those already gone having left for greener pastures elsewhere.
i don't foresee myself having to contend with the question, 'to leave or to stay' in the near future, because what comes may my parents will still be in singapore and this is still a good place to live in, if you're more of a hermit (cares more about your own life than sound/unsound policies made by the policy makers). but I never had to bring up this question at all, so to me this is somewhat a growing sense of weariness towards the 'system', as affectionately termed by the less articulate singaporeans.
for the common man, poorly timed increases in price will only equate to an understanding that we're making the government coffers richer. a double security lapse in the span of 2 weeks, resulting in the head of ministry throwing flaks at the 'individuals responsible' rather than throwing flaks at himself for the lapses, only makes us draw closer resemblance of our country to a totalitarian state or a
'lee-gime'. surely, this isn't time for comments like ' giving the 'vociferous opposition' a chance - out of 'light-heartedness, fickleness or sheer madness'', because to us, the common men, this means that the incumbent is wavering, showing signs of fear. we ain't looking any further than that.
while i do not have any better solutions in mind to all these problems, i only wish to drive home a point, that people are starting to get weary of the political status quo in our country. i am one and for someone who never really found interest in politics, i think this is a very telling sign of the weariness.
disturbed you at 1:38 AM
Friday, June 20, 2008
i might not be in the clearest of minds now but i think i need to capture my thoughts for the last day before they fade away again.
somehow over the past few days i have realised that all these bitchings do nothing to turn the tide, if the 'other way round' is presumably the rightful way to go. while i shan't deny that i am susceptible to such misdemeanours, i now suscribe to the belief that these comments behind people's back do nothing to help stop the rot. if fact, in doing so we're digging deeper into wasteland. so what if he/she has failed to do the job(and that's only in YOUR opinion, if you haven't realised)? does pulling the lower ranks together and criticising him/her over coffee help? he or she is gonna stay here for as long as you stay somehow, so why not endeavour to play the cards according to her needs that pulling away in the opposite direction before an attempt has even been made?
therefore, i must endeavour not to put people down with my words being their back. it is a tough call but i believe that's the way to go if there's can be hope of making things better.
it's getting busy again. i can't imagine myself putting a performance on stage but it appears that i have no choice, since the board requires it. i shan't dwell on the following point but after today i realised that, i have much more to do, much more to understand when people around me are talking sense and logic in econs maths and music while i am still trying to earn my first million @ ladbrokes.com
disturbed you at 5:01 AM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
i've repeatedly failed to wake up for soccer in the wee hours of the morning. i've gotta do so much more to live independently by myself man. inability to wake up upon the ring of the alarm clock and a severe lack of punctuality are the 2 greatest flaws that needs some sorting out.
i've never put much attention on exceptions. so, while i feel sorry for the families of 2lt lam and rec andrew, i'm glad that the armed forces decided not to take any drastic measures to lower the already much simpler training standards. i always felt the twin tragedies were cases of extremities that struck at the same time, a mere case of ill-fortune for this organisation. cases like this would normally trigger radical changes in existing systems and guidelines in the past, but i guess it's good that we stay put this time round, else, we would really be undermining the important foundations as a result of these exceptions.
and i don't think there needs to be any alarm over the health of my generation of people. cases like these were underreported in the past. if they were, they would have brought about attention, albeit less resonating as a result of lower media coverage and educational standards. we're looking at cases that happens weekly, if not daily, in other parts of the world for many years, so why the unnecessary alarm?
disturbed you at 8:39 AM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
while i would very much prefer my life to remain stable, i am somewhat getting tired of routine.
other than lessons after lessons, i've gotta do something to make my weekends a little more lively.
disturbed you at 11:13 PM
Sunday, June 8, 2008
just got back from ACID camp which began on friday night. i was mun kwai's buddy for the entire camp. despite being of high support needs he generally behaved quite well and made things rather smooth going for himself and myself. the camp also saw many firsts: the first time i helped someone else to put on pampers, the first time i had to help clean someone who wet himself over the night and also the first time i tried to hush one of the residents to sleep, despite failing to do so successfully. this experience really exposed myself to the full spectrum of tasks that a volunteer, in this case, a volunteer for PWIDs, need and can do to help the residents.
after a moment's reflection last friday i have this added push to make things better however bad they seem to be (which explains why 'the mail' was sent out). on the same note, there were many ideas that crossed my mind that were conjured during the inactive ours on the 2nd day, like getting all project groups under one shelter to make one ultra-huge collage to break some records (guinness book of world records?) or something along these lines. sounds lofty definitely, but worth a try and i'll need to put these ideas onto paper before they fade away.
which requires alot of courage and i should really get the bowling programme up before i think about anything else.
disturbed you at 11:58 PM
Thursday, June 5, 2008
i was reading my posts and i realised how much a capricious little prick i am.
disturbed you at 12:30 AM
in medical terms, it's called autophobia. i've probably caught a variant of this illness, where an 'overdosage' of autophobic hours induced a certain numbness within myself. i am now autophilic, the numbness having suppressed the phobia that threatens to erupt when favourable conditions allows it to.
the proceedings for today brought me to this realization. going to australia will potentially be a hell of an experience, but not when you're the only one of 'your kind' there and when you're inadequately trained and not proficient in your job. it'll take a hell lot effort (and put into consideration my inability to forge human bonds) to fit in and make yourself feel comfortable. and the fact that i know that i am sent there for several reasons at the back alley takes away the sweetness of it all. nothing's ever too good in the armed forces.
somehow, i'd rather not be made known of this opportunity. that way life goes back to the routine and there'll be little that needs to cross my mind.
disturbed you at 12:05 AM
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
i completed my first marathon in 6h 22min. Nothing impressive but we could have done better if not for the injury sustained by YS.
many things have been going through my mind for the past few days. i can't seem to find any resolutions to the many questions that i've been asking myself. and so life goes back to the daily routine and somehow you find it easier to live it that way than to find more unanswerable questions for yourself.