Saturday, July 25, 2009


when i blasted those words at my parents i felt like a 21-year-old kid with a severely underdeveloped amygdala, hence the lack of emotional control.

"i can't be fucking wrong all the time!"

but dad and mum, i do really feel so.

since when have you genuinely believed in me?

do you call that concern, or do you call that a lack of belief?

there is plenty that you do not know about me. so please, do not act like you do.

you are upset, but so am i.

i am acting like a kid. what's with 'this kid is so mature' and all those bullshit people were telling me when i was 5?

my heart is cold as steel.

i need some love.

disturbed you at 11:37 PM

Monday, July 13, 2009


what kind of the person am i?

sometimes i wonder if i am fickle-minded, indecisive, or just open to options and better opportunities in the future.

am i easily disturbed, temperamental, inconsiderate and brusque, or just being candid and true to my views and emotions?

it isn't difficult for anyone out there to see the former, but it takes good friends to see the latter, or more, maybe?

but when you get casted aside, will you stay the course or will you conform?

disturbed you at 9:55 AM

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


my parents never seem to believe in making investments. any forms of money generating efforts other than work, be it taking on 2 jobs or soccer betting, has always been ridiculed on the dinner table. as a result i never got much exposure to money management techniques. i can't help but think that this is one of the reason why i am worth a mere 2000-3000 after being alive for 21 years.

my family values hard work. so do i. yet, haven't we seen enough to realise that hard work (i mean, working hard in ur job) alone isn't gonna make you financially independent? for a start, it takes sound knowledge and handling of money from a young age for us to at least have a chance to break out of the cycle. i have missed many opportunities already. so, why am i put down everytime i show interest in this topic?

as i set out to find my way through this complex maze, all i need is a little bit of support. i ain't asking for money. i just want you to know that what i am trying to do could possibly be better than what you have done thus far. you ain't right all the time. and for sure, i can't be wrong all of the time can i?

disturbed you at 4:52 PM