Thursday, August 13, 2009
it's funny how when i'm just about to get started i'm trying to find a way to get out. contingency plans?
disturbed you at 10:08 AM
Saturday, July 25, 2009
when i blasted those words at my parents i felt like a 21-year-old kid with a severely underdeveloped amygdala, hence the lack of emotional control.
"i can't be fucking wrong all the time!"
but dad and mum, i do really feel so.
since when have you genuinely believed in me?
do you call that concern, or do you call that a lack of belief?
there is plenty that you do not know about me. so please, do not act like you do.
you are upset, but so am i.
i am acting like a kid. what's with 'this kid is so mature' and all those bullshit people were telling me when i was 5?
my heart is cold as steel.
i need some love.
disturbed you at 11:37 PM
Monday, July 13, 2009
what kind of the person am i?
sometimes i wonder if i am fickle-minded, indecisive, or just open to options and better opportunities in the future.
am i easily disturbed, temperamental, inconsiderate and brusque, or just being candid and true to my views and emotions?
it isn't difficult for anyone out there to see the former, but it takes good friends to see the latter, or more, maybe?
but when you get casted aside, will you stay the course or will you conform?
disturbed you at 9:55 AM
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
my parents never seem to believe in making investments. any forms of money generating efforts other than work, be it taking on 2 jobs or soccer betting, has always been ridiculed on the dinner table. as a result i never got much exposure to money management techniques. i can't help but think that this is one of the reason why i am worth a mere 2000-3000 after being alive for 21 years.
my family values hard work. so do i. yet, haven't we seen enough to realise that hard work (i mean, working hard in ur job) alone isn't gonna make you financially independent? for a start, it takes sound knowledge and handling of money from a young age for us to at least have a chance to break out of the cycle. i have missed many opportunities already. so, why am i put down everytime i show interest in this topic?
as i set out to find my way through this complex maze, all i need is a little bit of support. i ain't asking for money. i just want you to know that what i am trying to do could possibly be better than what you have done thus far. you ain't right all the time. and for sure, i can't be wrong all of the time can i?
disturbed you at 4:52 PM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
(Dated 17th June)
The world is watching as the Iranian election fallout unfolds. Violent, crude and sometimes gruesome images of attacks on protesters are emerging by the minute in cyberspace. If you watched the attack on Neda by Basij militiamen and other students, it would have struck a chord in your heart. Is the world watching another Tiananmen tragedy unravelling as time ticks by?
As a bystander watching these events happen in another country where civil disobedience is almost non-existent, I cannot help but wonder what would I do if I am an Iranian right here right now. An educated Iranian I would say, one that has been privileged enough to see how things function in other parts of the world.
Fight or flight? Which will I choose?
I think I'll choose to leave, if an opportunity comes by. Else, I'd stay but not fight. Call me a quitter, a coward whatever, but I think this is much more sensible than pouring into the streets and risking yourself to attacks when there isn't any real incentive, because, do you really think that there will be different outcome?
disturbed you at 12:10 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
why do i have this cynical view that the people all around you is much more than what you can understand of them?
disturbed you at 12:47 AM
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
i've been watching CurrentTV but only today did I realise that the 2 journalists sentenced to 12 years jail in North Korea are actually featured in the program. i feel for them.
Nobody exactly knows what happened on March the 17th, but according to ultra-credible North Korean media, the 2 ladies committed a "grave crime against the Korean nation" and did an "illegal border crossing". The latter probably holds some truth - they could have strayed across the border unintentionally since probably North Korea is too poor to build an 880-mile fence along the border and they are in serious need for some Chinese 'foreign talent' to help boost their ailing economy. Or perhaps the 2 journalists thought the guard post was a house because there wasn't a guard in sight - they had sped off to the nearby town where free tapioca were given away. Whatever the case, we can be sure that if Laura and Euna were Chinese or Russian they would have been allowed through or simply deported away. 12 years jail for border crossing is simply ridiculous. Undeniably, this reclusive regime is playing a polictical game to secure more bargaining rights on the nuclear table.
If 12 years is a deserving sentence for committing a 'grave crime against the Korean nation', then I wonder what crime could they have committed? Let's list down the possibilities:
1. While unknowing trespasssing the border, they trampled over NK's only surviving wheat field.
2. They are H1N1 positive and thought to be human biological weapons sent by the USA.
3. North Korean border guards thought the video camera is a 21st century bomb. Or the camera wasn't a North Korean make.
4. They were donning made-in-USA North Face jackets.
5. They called Kim Jong Il by his name instead of greeting him as the 'Dear Leader'
So, what grave time did they commit? The world ought to know.
disturbed you at 12:11 PM