Tuesday, November 13, 2007
the decision made by the commander has left many people, including myself disappointed. i only hope that he would be able to provide a strong enough reason to convince us. if not, i will totally lose hope in the RSAF.
slept at 2 yesterday to write this. some excerpts below:
"...I am not shy to deny that such joys have been somewhat marred, or subdued by some failures, especially in interpersonal relationships along the way. I’d realized that I have to accord part of the blame to myself for some of these failures, but after analyzing (over and over again) the things that happened, I couldn’t find a reason why I should not accord the other part of the blame to the other party/parties too. I am aware I am treading dangerously close to sounding ‘arrogant’ again, but I am consciously aware that I don’t mean to do so.
About interpersonal relationships
More often than I would have preferred, I was chided for “thinking that I know everything”. Instructors walked out of my slots claiming that it was a blatant show of disregard for the things I was taught. As time passed and such comments continued, you become kind of disillusioned and disorientated, unsure why people make such comments of you where you are a far cry from the person you thought you were. Achievements become nothing but a mere name when you realize that the person you thought you were is the one that people distaste.
I never meant to “think that I know everything”. I ever asked why people/someone thought so of me, but the first time I ever did so, Instructor A gave me such a reply, “Come on, if you’re smart enough, you’ll know why.” What I thought was a genuine effort to ask for opinions to understand what was wrong with me became a unfortunate case of ‘self-mystery-solving’. It made you, kind of, really disillusioned, because when you truly made an effort to improve yourself, you were not given the help that you required. This was basically the main reason why I don’t see the fault as entirely mine..."
"...One of the most memorable instances I had in the school was reading an email from Instructor A, which stated 2 rules that outlined pedagogy in Air Force School. It went, “Rule no. 1: Instructors are always right. Rule no. 2: follow rule no. 1.” ...
...Allow me to put forth a disclaimer: I am not in a position to say that by taking on a more welcoming attitude when being asked questions, instructors can create a more amicable learning environment to help us learn better. Yet, I believe that what I say here are truthful opinions shared by many from the ground. To us, it’ll really help if some instructors are more receptive to comments and questions. In my opinion, pedagogy using the 2 rules mentioned above as guiding stars is tantamount to ruling a nation with an iron fist. Despotic control creates either a sense of helplessness of resentment. Either way, it translates into more undesirable situations and I am sure we do not want this to happen to us, especially when we claim to be a “premier institution”....."
I am quite interested to see how commander responds to this on thursday. i'll be kinda disappointed if he didn't even take a look at all.
5 more weeks to commissioning. after which, i hope the next year will be much more fulfilling than this. of course, it's about time to set my sights elsewhere and put my effort on other more pertinent things, since i have almost surely lost hope in rsaf. perhaps it might be good to do more for the community? like help organise activities at MINDS or what, or find another home to help out in. or will it be better to start studying for university? take on a dentistry attachment? or start planning for the trip to japan/europe? well lots to think about in the next 3 weeks while hentak kakiing on the parade square.
disturbed you at 10:07 PM