Sunday, January 13, 2008
i think all these continual rebuttals against all that i said have dampened my confidence level.
not to say that i am already confident enough from the onset. but i have now resorted to saying "what do you think" at the end of every sentence as a act of humility. to think that KR can say that i am a over-confident prick.
this has become such a habit that i feel like such a small boy whenever decisions have to be made.
when there's no time, asking "what do you think" becomes a burden. but assertively instructing the rest what to do puts you in a situation too - you take resposibility when things go wrong (that's not a very nice thing), or even when things turn out successful, people will remember you only as a obnoxious think-you-know-everything wretch.
in secondary school i used to be always ready to take on responsibilities. but it's different now. when everything you do is wrong, you lose such a great chunk of confidence that you are so unsure of every single thing that you're doing. even going to the loo at the right time.
so if you're close to me, perhaps you can help me a little by attempting to make me feel a little more in control, rather than controlled. i want a lift.
disturbed you at 11:29 PM