Thursday, March 27, 2008
one week has passed and still no replies from any of the boards. i think the interview with imperial college next week is gonna be customary, since i will have no means of getting there even if i get a place. it's difficult to motivate yourself to start preparing for a test like that.
being condemned to the dark realms of SOCC ain't that bad if you have somebody you can speak your heart to there (of course, being stuck there with some unfriendly bugger will make it a hell of an experience). unsurprisingly, i gave away much more information to someone i had only known for a few days than what would have been deemed appropriate by others. i felt that there was nothing to lose, since if we met on the streets it will be a hi-and-bye kind of thing, acquaintances and nothing more.
i must have sounded overly demoralised over my failed application for medicine and scholarships that he felt it was too much for my own good. then came the motivational comments that no matter what come may, it is always best to pursue your own dreams than to take a detour which can bring you spiralling down to non-existence. 'yes i have a place overseas, but i lack the cash,' and came the reply, 'there are plenty of scholarships around, it's best to pursue your dreams.' 'but in singapore, you know the competition for these awards, i am just a normal 4A student(sigh)' and he replied, 'it's always best to pursue your dreams.' Every single subject ended off with that comment. he gave his reasons, and i agreed.
but to tell you the truth, i don't really know what's my dream. nobody really taught me how to dream, i just took every single opportunity that came by in my life. now, at this crossroad, i find it weird, somewhat contrived, that i have to choose what would be the best career path to take, or in other words, choose the best 'dream', for i never had a big thoughts or plans how to spend my life.
it's back to square one again.
disturbed you at 12:15 PM