Saturday, May 24, 2008
at the stroke of the hour i am 20 years and 1 day old. i have clocked another day in my life and i really hope i can stay happy than to waste another day feeling unnecessarily melancholic.
barely 2 months have passed but things have not been all that good thus far. i can see the effort put in but these efforts become palpably perceivable then i think it calls for concern. they become perceivable because what was once natural - like going the extra mile for one another - becomes a weary and dreary task. i would definitely love to see less practicalities come into play but more irrational, inexplicable things done, but perhaps i gotta get myself back to that frame of mind before i can ask for anything in return huh?
part of today's post-soccer talk brought up the topic of solitude. in a way or another, i feel sorry for people like feona and wun leeng because they perpetually end up in our random teases and jokes. today feeona was centre of the discussion again, when someone in the gang commented how in 400 facebook photos 300 of them were individual shots while the rest were scenery. and you imply that: she's as lonely as ever. it's easy to laugh and joke along but i guess when you really sit down and think about it again, how do we know that she's not having a good time being by herself? it might seem natural for human beings to crave company but that's because it's the societal norm. when mr ling brought up about the issue of 'quality of life' for the intellectually disabled, it suddenly occurred to me that as individuals we have little right to say that other people are not having a hell of a time being the way they are, unless we personally relate to them or to be more accurate, is part of them. for the PWIDs, it's difficult for us to know because we can never really be like them. like wise for feeeona, we will never know because we are never going to be her. maybe, unlike all others, she really prefers to be alone than to be within the din of friend's company?
with that in mind, i shall now attempt make as little remarks about others as possible and resist the temptations of snapping back at gehry whenever he goes back to the mode of racial indiscrimination, which i think is his fatal flaw rather than racial discrimination.
disturbed you at 11:43 PM